Dear DiaryHermiones POV
by LunaPax
Summary: Hermione reevealuates her place in the seemingly inseperable Trio. Takes place after the Third Task in the GoF.


Dear Diary,   
  
4 years, four bloody years.   
  
That's how long I've put up with their mindless chatter, their quidditch matches, they're constant talk of their crushes. That's how long I've helped with their homework, given them advice, and made them study. It's how long I've secretly crushed on both of them, at one time or another, and had to watch them get drawn into the artificial beauty of the girls I have to share a dorm with. That's how long I've worried about them, constantly, and have done my best to keep them out of trouble. That's how long I've pushed aside my own problems to help them, and put myself last.   
  
That's how long I have been their friend.   
  
Glory, why can't they see me? 4 years and countless sacrifices on my part, and they still can't see me. I gave to them until I thought my bones would break, and then I gave some more. I tried Diary, I really did.   
  
I thought we were friends. One of the first mistakes I have ever made. Sure, I'm made my share, but they were all small things, like which ingredient goes in which cauldron, or how to pronounce someone's name. Never who was my friend or not.   
  
I should have guessed it earlier. The way they always were partners and stuck me with Neville, or how they ignored my advice, or how they were always going on secret "missions" with out me.   
  
Or how they didn't believe me when I told them I had a date for the Yule Ball.   
  
As if a girl like me couldn't get a date to the ball, especially not with a famous quidditch player. As if he only person who would ever go with me were shy, somewhat "dumb" boys like Neville who didn't know any better.   
  
But I'm not dumb enough to say that they hate me. I'm just a third wheel for them, is all. They put up with me the way I put up with Neville. I don't ignore him, but I don't bend over backwards if he has a problem. But the difference between me and Neville, and Ron and Harry, is that I don't tease Neville when I think he can't hear, the way I've often heard Ron and Harry talking about me. A few little "she's bookworm" 's don't kill me, but…you know.   
  
But even though the earlier signs didn't warn me until now, what happened a few moments ago did. (I'm actually writing this in Professor McGonagol's office.) She took Ron and I to her office, along with a small Veela girl and Cho (an: can't remember who the 4th one was) and told us we were part of the second challenge. The four champions had the person they cared about most taken away, and we were going to be put under a spell and under the water for a while.   
  
She didn't have to give me that look, the one of pity and apology. Even before she told us who would be rescuing us I knew. Ron was Harry's favorite person and best friend. Not me. Ron.   
  
It hurts anyway though. Knowing that the person who you had given so much to liked someone else better. It may be that guy bonding deal that makes him choose Ron over me, I wouldn't know, seeing as I'm defiantly not a guy. Still…   
  
But what nearly kills me is something I just realized. Krum has known me no more than a few months, yet I am dear to him. But I've known Harry four years, and yet he chose Ron over me.   
  
A near stranger chose me instead of the person I've know four years. I truly am a third wheel to Harry and Ron.   
  
Oh, bloody heck. What's the point in trying any more? My family is falling apart (divorce) and I have no friends at school. I only came to Hogwarts to meet friends, and I only stayed because I believed I had. I have good enough grades that I could probably just take all the finals for my remaining years here tomorrow, and pass them all. I could graduate in a week, and get a job at the Three Broomsticks until I look old enough for a real job.   
  
But that would be too messy. And I know it isn't even an option at this point, not for me or my pride. I'll stick out the rest of my time in this fancy prison, and be the same happy go lucky, smart, but clueless girl I always have been.   
  
I'll…   
  
Oh, Ron's looking at me again. He pity's me. He pity's me. All the same, I have to stop writing. Dumbledore has come to collect us for our task.   
  
With hope for my heart,   
  
Hermione   
  
AN: Depressing, may have been a little ooc, but I liked it. I've been turning this idea around in my head for a while, and now was as good a time as any to get it down.   
Should I keep doing Fics like this? Diary entry's from assorted character's POV's?   
Review please.


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